the ramble dump

I get some strange traffic. Usually for this site it's all the bizarre, amusing and sometimes downright disturbing variations you could think of for the term 'fat man'. (While I don't really want to encourage any more of the wrong kind of attention: 'fat man in leather pants' and 'fat man eaten alive' are two of the more recent--and not the worst.) And with each passing month, as I upload more content, new keywords are generated.

This month, nearly half of all my visitors have arrived here through the term 'parachute pants'. Is this significant, I wonder? What could it mean? Is there an underground movement, utilising the medium of the internet, seeking to reinstate parachute pants at the forefront of our cultural consciousness? Could I really be in the midst of something so epic? Or maybe it's more of a tragedy--maybe there are just a lot of people who miss the days when they could wear said pants with pride, but are unaware that there are so many others who still share the same passions. Now all of them are floating through cyberspace oblivious that they are a mere proverbial atomswidth away from each other.

It's something to wonder about. Maybe I should start a new section.

I get a few for 'jabba the hun', which is reassuring. It's nice to know I'm not the only one who makes those mistakes. About a month ago I got a hit for 'something something oohoohoo', which puzzled me for a while. I get quite a lot of very specific queries for Amelia's website, from friends who are no doubt requiring more evidence that she actually exists because they are not willing to believe in her singularly odd appearance. There's a couple for 'custard fight', one for 'frilly slug', one for 'surging organza'. 'Mel's custard' is, of course, extremely popular.

There's one for 'untidy wife'. There's another for 'convoluted metaphor'.

There's also one for 'tweed metaphors'. I wish I knew the story behind this one. 'My life is a tweed metaphor!' would, I am convinced, be such an excellent thing to exclaim. No doubt it would also be in some way profoundly true. Likewise, I want to see the news report that must have contained 'claims against tweed were exaggerated'.

Such a small sample of web statistics contains so many possible stories. And so very many parachute pants. What path of life, what desperate query or moment of inspiration, has led these mysterious people to my unnaturally green pastures? Only Google knows.

Labels: starcustard, webtechnical

# posted by Chris @ 7:57 PM