the ramble dump

The cake is a lie.

A few days ago I downloaded Valve's action puzzle game Portal from their Steam service - which is, to be honest, a pain in the backside, because I usually have to launch the thing at least twice before it actually decides to work.

But Portal...Portal is a good game. The word 'innovative' has been thrown around a lot, which is always one to be wary of, in the same way that people who describe themselves as 'creative' are usually too preoccupied with being 'creative' to actually create anything worthwhile. But Portal does seem quite innovative, while at the same time being a wholesome and satisfying, albeit brief, gaming experience. The following review is very spoilery.

The basic mechanic of the game is actually quite simple, and comes with your only weapon, the Portal Gun, which you can use to set up an entry and exit portal anywhere in a room (surfaces allowing). Using these portals, you are required to solve a series of increasingly difficult and complex puzzles in the form of various 'Test Chambers', overseen by an artificial intelligence known as GLaDOS who continually promises the reward of cake at the end - although you soon realise that these 'tests' are something more sinister, and that you may never get the promised cake.

Due to mandatory scheduled maintenance, the appropriate chamber for this testing sequence is currently unavailable. It has been replaced with a live fire course, designed for military androids. The Enrichment Centre apologizes for the inconvenience and wishes you the best of luck.

While the puzzles themselves are enough to keep you entertained, the Test Chambers in which they take place are quite monotonous in their white, clinical appearance. But what I found was that as the story began gradually to seep through, this made the telltale signs, like the desperate graffiti scrawled on the walls in hidden places, all the more effective in building up a feeling of tension and paranoia. Coupled with GLaDOS's increasingly blatant attempts to trick and murder you (all the while firing increasingly passive-aggressive remarks in your direction), the game becomes an immersive, darkly amusing, and singularly odd experience.

The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube [a big cube with a pink heart on it] will never threaten to stab you and, in fact, cannot speak. [...] In the event that the Weighted Companion Cube does speak, the Enrichment Center urges you to disregard its advice.

Some of GLaDOS's best ramblings can be found for your listening pleasure here, including 'Still Alive', the song played at the credits after you've fought GLaDOS in the weirdest boss fight you'll probably ever have witnessed.

There was even going to be a party for you. A big party, that all your friends were invited to. I invited your best friend, the Companion Cube, but of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him. All your other friends couldn't come either because you don't have any other friends, because of how unlikeable you are. It says so right here in your personnel file: unlikeable. Liked by no-one. A bitter, unlikeable loner, whose passing shall not be mourned. Shall not be mourned. That's exactly what it says. Very formal. Very official. It also says you were adopted. So that's funny too.

I could go on quoting GLaDOS all day, but I'll stop here. Whoever wrote all this stuff is some kind of genius. Portal certainly has some of the most original storytelling I've seen in a game. I heartily, with a heart just like the Weighted Companion Cube's, recommend it.

Labels: videogames

# posted by Chris @ 2:46 PM